As anyone who's ever been unemployed knows, spending your days rummaging through job adverts is a soul-destroying chore.
The same language, the same phrases, occur and re-occur, rendering the whole experience akin to being lost in corridor after corridor of beige paint and dry air.
5000 MGMT have decided that they aren't going down this route. The company – founded by Andy Inglis – wants someone new, someone different.
And they've developed a slightly – ahem – different job advert to go about it. Non-smokers who detest jazz-funk are preferred, as are woman under the age of 30:
"I want to hire a woman under thirty who is focussed, driven, resilient and fearless, passionate about life and music (across many genres), displaying exceptional administrative and people skills with a positive, boundlessly enthusiastic attitude. You will love travelling, our business ethics and shared sense of morality will align. You’ll be almost intimidatingly smart, able to absorb and process large quantities of information and be willing to run through walls for our artists and projects. You will make me feel like I need to raise my own game for fear of you making me redundant."
So, why state the preferred age and gender?
"The business is fucked. It’s unsustainable and dysfunctional, and it happened on my watch. I’m to blame for support bands still getting paid £50, or worse, nothing, for interns getting paid nothing. I’m to blame for small venues closing, for Spotify paying artists what they do, for the sexism and racism. It all happened on my watch and I didn’t lift a finger. Hardly any of my generation did. We just kept our heads down and made sure we had enough money for a pint. I lecture for people (mostly) from 15 years old to late 20s. I want to help young people. It’s my job to help those that are coming up behind me create a better industry by either assisting them, or getting the fuck out of their way."
Check out the full advert HERE.