Jesy Nelson has revealed that the 'Sweet Melody' was her Little Mix "breaking point".
The pop icon left the group in 2020, placing an emotional statement online to address her departure.
Citing concerns around her mental health, Jesy vowed to take a step back, and begin to prioritise her own happiness.
Breaking cover with a Cosmopolitan interview, she reflected on her history in the group, and the pressures that come with being in the public eye.
Explaining that fame took its toll on her self-worth, Jesy discussed seeing herself on magazine covers: "What are we supposed to look like? What is perfect? To me, perfect is someone who embraces their flaws and is 100% themselves and comfortable with that."
The star revealed that making the video for 'Sweet Melody' became her "breaking point".
She explained: "We’d been in lockdown, and (that had been) the first time I could have a break and be at home around people that I love. It was the happiest I’d ever felt, and I didn’t realise that until I went back to work."
"I immediately became a different person. I had anxiety. Whenever we had a music video, I put an enormous amount of pressure on myself to try and lose weight. I have a fear of looking back on the camera. If I don’t like what I see, I find it so hard to be in front of the camera and feel amazing and perform."
She added: "I went on this extreme diet, with bloody shakes, and tried to eat as little as possible. On the day of the 'Sweet Melody' video I had a panic attack on set because I didn’t look how I wanted to look and I found it so hard to just be happy and enjoy myself. I looked at the other three and they were having the time of their life."
"I get so jealous, because I want to feel like that and enjoy it, because music is my passion. To have this dream and not be enjoying it because of what I look like, I knew wasn’t normal."
Jesy is absent from one scene in the video, "because that’s when I had a panic attack and broke down... I was sobbing in the dressing room. Someone really close to me said: This has got to stop. You can’t keep doing this to yourself. You’re going to end up where you were before."
"For so long, I worried about others and letting people down," she added. "The only person I should have been trying to make happy was myself, and I wasn’t doing that. I needed to do it for my mental health, because I know I would have ended up back where I was five years ago, and that’s scary."
Jesy is currently working on solo material, returning to the music she loves. She said: "Music is my life. It’s so powerful for me. I’m in the studio just having fun. I loved the music I made with Little Mix, but it wasn’t the kind of music I listen to. It just feels so nice to be making music that I love. I don’t know when I’m going to bring it out. I feel really content and happy. It’s the weirdest, best feeling in the world."
The full interview can be found HERE.
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