Dream Festival: Dry The River

Matthew Taylor acts as curator...

With their easy going harmonies and gently strummed acoustic guitars, Dry The River are perfect campfire listening.

Set to tear up the festival season this summer, ClashMusic invited the band to take part in the inaugural edition of our Dream Festival column.

Handed the keys to his very own outdoor event, Matthew Taylor describes the sights, sounds and smells of his dream festival…

– – –

So as is the case in most bands, there are a wealth of different genres of music that Dry the River listen to. The disparity in our tastes however, seems to be getting more and more apparent and extreme by the day. So to make this festival work in some way, I think we’d have to have a ‘Hero’ stage for bands that we mutually agree are awesome – compered by Arnold Schwarzenegger obviously, and then we’d have:

– a post-rock/math-rock stage – compere Larry David
– a prog/metal stage – compere Rick Wakeman
– a country/folk stage – compere Will Arnett
– and a tent with a mirror and clippers in it where you can cut your own hair

Ok that last one’s a digression, based on the fact that an hour ago, Peter (or Poto, as he’s known on the live music scene) shaved the sides of my head down to a frankly military level, leaving me with a Lord Yupa style fat-hawk.
Previous to us coming on this tour, Pete had cut a truly brutal fringe into his own shoulder length hair. In fact, the tent should really just have Pete in with a pair of scissors, and, on second thought, no mirror.
Everyone who walks through the entrance must walk through this tent and receive a healthy scissor assault from our singer. That gets you in.

Once you’re in you can visit the retro game-station to play Super Tennis, Battletoads, Streets Of Rage and Perfect Dark. If you want.

The only food available at the festival will be Mexican. Our rhythm section has an obsession with tex-mex and ridiculous hot sauces so we feel that should be inflicted on all attendees.

There will also be a Seinfeld tent consisting of two rooms. One where the entire Seinfeld show is broadcast on a cinema screen on a chronological loop, and one where Jerry Seinfeld will do stand-up for the entire duration of the festival. He is allowed to eat on stage (which he will make hilarious), and he’ll be hooked up to a caffeine drip to ensure he is able to tell jokes through every second of the event.

Main / Hero Stage:
Led Zepellin
Mars Volta
Spinal Tap
Beyonce Knowles
Paul Simon
John Fogerty

Alt stage – compere Larry David
Godspeed You! Black Emperor
Three Trapped Tigers

Prog/Metal Stage – Compere Rick Wakeman
Dream Theater
Coheed and Cambria

Folk / Country stage – Compere Will Arnett
Neil Young
The Eagles
Emmylou Harris
Gillian Welch
Willy Mason

Thats pretty good, right? I’d like to see the Clashfinder.

It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but I really want to go to this festival. I think we’ve created something that everyone can enjoy here. As long as you can handle Texas Pete’s hot sauce.

Maybe one day we’ll be in a position to make this happen. It’s been nice dreaming it up in the meantime.

– – –

Dry The River’s debut album ‘Shallow Bed’ is out now, upcoming single ‘New Ceremony’ drops on April 16th.

Catch the band at this year’s OneFest on April 14th.

Join the Clash mailing list for up to the minute music, fashion and film news.