DAY ONE – BESTIVAL -> SOUTHAMPTON -> WOKINGHAM -> WOKING
A good 10 hours of sleep does the trick, and I’m now ready to face Monday morning. I’ve not changed the strings on my guitar for awhile, so I spend an hour doing that, whilst watching The Wright Stuff on Channel 5. It takes me ages to change guitar strings. I’m shit at it. Everyone else I know can do it in five minutes. Not me.
Still, I’ve got plenty of time – I don’t need to be in Woking for ages yet. That’s the first stop on this Pictish Trail & Rozi Plain acoustic tour. Rozi is from Bristol, and she is a fairly recent addition to the Fence fold – we’re putting her album out in October. It’s called ‘Inside Over Here’, and it’s incredible.
So, this tour is in support of our respective albums – and the entire thing has been booked by train. I booked the gigs, and Rozi booked the trains. Most of the fares between towns/cities are like £9 or £10 – so it’s way cheaper than driving. And quicker. The journeys are usually just over an hour – which leaves plenty of time to wander about the town you’re playing in, have a few beers and relax a bit.
interviews are apparently meant to make you stressed – but I like ’em.
Plus, neither Rozi or myself can drive. So train really is the only option.
I saunter up the road to Wokingham Station, and ask the clerk at the ticket desk for the quickest route to Woking.
“Takewaterlootovirginawaterthenontoweybridgetowoking”
“Come again?”
“Waterlovirginwatweybridgeking”
“Err. Aye. Great, thanks”
I’ve no idea what the f*ck she’s said, and so I phonetically replay the garbled sentence over and over in my head, whilst trundling onto the first train that arrives. My friend Doug phones up – wanting to conduct an interview for a piece he’s writing. I tell him I’m on a train, but to go ahead.
“Don’t you feel a bit weird talking about yourself in a train full of people?” he suggests
“Moi? Talking about MYSELF, you say? ME? Nope. No probs.” Of course, no one is interested. Selling this album is gonna be tougher than I thought.
So, I talk pish for about 20 minutes. Interviews are apparently meant to make you stressed – but I like ’em. Being a Radiohead fan throughout my teens, and having watched ‘Meeting People Is Easy’ a gazillion times, I just assumed that you were meant to hate interviews. But they’re great! And by the end, it’s usually the person conducting the interview that’s stressed. In fact, it usually ends up with me asking the questions (“What do you think of track 5?”, “What do you think of the new Coldplay album?”, “How do you string a guitar, quickly?”) … I look out of the window, and all of a sudden I see a sign saying Virginia Water.
“Wattalootovirginwatta…”
F*ck. That’s it.
“Just a sec, Doug!”
Two good looking, talented girls and a cute fox – it’s a tough act to follow.
I put my phone in my mouth, heave my rucksack on to one shoulder, grab my guitar and make my way to the exit. One thing I can’t stand is folk coming on to a train before everyone has exited. The doors open, and this is precisely what happens – so I do I fake fall and push into everybody, garbling “sorry” with my phone still in my gob. Poor Doug is still on the line. I wonder if he’s gonna use this in the interview. Thank god it isn’t a video phone.
I eventually work out I have to travel to Weybride to get to Woking. In total, my journey takes about an hour and a half. Which is odd, as you’d think Woking would be quite near Wokingham. Maybe “ham” means “not very near at all to”. Or maybe it means “psyche”. Woking … psyche! I miss PJ and Duncan …
So I get into Woking about 3 o’clock. The venue, The Remix Bar, ain’t open … so I tumble in to the nearest pub, and have some lunch. The bar is playing the hits of Lemar on a video screen above my head. Lemar is looking down on me, like some sort of hellish soul angel.
Rozi gives me a buzz – she’s just off the train from Bristol. We meet up, have a few beers, and the promoter – Dave – comes through too. I’m two or three beers ahead of everyone else, and getting a wee bit pissed by this point … probably not making the best impression. When I find myself singing some Lemar, it’s time to leave.
We meet Lindsay West at the venue – she’s opening for us tonight. She’s got an amazing voice – and great songs to boot. I’m starting to get a bit nervous. To make things worse, my big sister Suzy shows up, with my cousin. Now i’m more nervous and still a bit pissed. I introduce my cousin to everyone in the room by the wrong name. For the rest of the evening I have to pretend that I got her name wrong on purpose, and start calling her names like ‘Patricia’ and ‘Bernard’ because I’m the “weird-one-in-the-family”. I don’t think I got away with it …
It’s good to see my sister, though. I hadn’t seen her in ages.
It’s a family affair tonight. Lindsay’s family have come along to see her play, my girlfriend’s parents have come along too … and Dave’s sister, Allison, turns up. She works for a press company, and gives me a pile of new CD’s. I love getting new music. But I start to think about my rucksack, which is already overflowing with gubbins. Gotta give the hard sell tonight.
The gig starts, Lindsay goes down a treat. As does Roz. Blast their eyes. I’ve taken pictures of the two of them. They are quite dark pictures. It was quite a dark room and I don’t have a flash. That’s why.
It’s getting quite hot in the room, so the fire exit is opened. There’s a fox outside. Everyone’s attention turns to the fox. There’s a lot of ‘oohing’ and ‘awwws’. I rush to the bogs, and adjust my hair. Two good looking, talented girls and a cute fox – it’s a tough act to follow.
I leap on to the stage, and play my set. I didn’t write down my set list at any point on this tour, so I don’t know what I played. All you need to know is that my hair looked great. Obviously, I don’t have any pictures of myself – but just imagine some great hair. Roz joins me onstage for the last two songs, and i take a bow.
A few copies of the album are sold – and one copy is swapped for four beers (which is a pretty decent trade, I think). The various assortments of family say goodbye, and i pack up my stuff.
Lindsay is kindly putting both Roz and myself up … so we get in her car, and travel back to her place, which is in lovely Sunninghill. Dave meets us there – and we have a beer, some toast, I talk a load of rubbish, and then go to bed. It’s a huge double bed, all for me! Beats Travelodge, lemme tell ya …
I forego the Jeeves, and examine all the cover art to the albums i got given by Alison. Turn off the light, and pass out with the sounds of Lemar swirling around my brain …
