Jez Kerr from original Factory Records dance-rock merchants A Certain Ratio on his ups and downs, from dodgy ankles to dead rabbits.
My most painful injury
“I can’t decide between these three: growing old; having to give up football career due to a broken ankle, or breaking the ankle.”
My best ever night out
“The Cramps, Cavendish Hall, Manchester polytechnic. Bronkipax, snakebite and garlic mushrooms.”
My worst hangover
“Two days after the Cramps gig. Dean Martin would have been proud.”
My most memorable trip
“ACR’s five-week tour of Europe, 11 countries. I think whoever booked the dates and devised the route thought that we were flying. We were in a van.”
The worst song I ever wrote
“’I am a cat and I like cheese, but I never say please.’”
Most impressive sporting feat
“Not mine ,exactly. Manchester United FC v Sheffield Wednesday, 1971. A famous George Best goal. I am one of three ballboys who, along with the rest of the scoreboard end go crazy at such a goal. I was also in a game of five-a-side with Sammy McIlroy, Lou Macari, Bill Foulkes and Paddy Crerand at [United training ground] The Cliff.
The coolest person I ever met
“The first New Yorker I ever met, Chuck something? Handshake as big as a shovel. He owned the building on Hudson, where we stayed while recording [classic 1981 album] ‘To Each.’ Years later I saw him again in Scorsese’s film Goodfellas. He was the toupee-wielding Mori, who couldn’t get his money and was dispatched with piano wire.”
The most disagreeable celebrity I ever met
“I’ve met quite a few celebrities, but when they are being the celebrity they are rarely disagreeable.”
The hardest I ever laughed
“Probably during one of the many viewings of Spinal Tap.”
The worst gig I ever played
“Sadly it was in Bristol which from my experience is a great place for clubs and gigs and music. Can’t remember the name, but the club was cool, just the wrong night, big-name house DJ and house-hungry punters wanting heavy 130 BPM got ‘Wont Stop Loving You.’ Yikes.”
The best gig I ever played
“The Scala cinema, Kings Cross, ’79 or ’80, supporting Throbbing Gristle. The atmosphere was stranger than usual. Perhaps it was the large ionizers at the front of the stage. Twenty minute set.”
The worst lie I ever told
“‘Snowy the rabbit has set off on a trip around the world’”
The angriest I’ve ever been
“Probably computer related.”
The best piece of advice I can give is
“Only give advice if you are sure of it, and, nobody knows anything for sure.”
ACR’s album ‘Mind Made Up’ is out now.
