In a shameless attempt to avoid going back to work, Si Hawkins hung about at the Barclays Mercury Music Prize nominations, pretty much just to see if anyone famous fell over…
11.30am – Things get off to a confusing start for us music types as the announcement takes place in (a) the morning and (b) a dark basement venue, which renders everyone virtually blind after staggering in from the sun. We’re used to things happening at least an hour later than advertised so there’s a crazy scrum by the door when everyone realises it’s actually running bang on time. Limbs collide and a small woman gets a solid elbow in the face. She hardly flinches. Must be in PR.
11.31am – Pregnant-again Lauren Laverne pops up and rattles through the noms. Strikingly absent are the albums by Plan B, Gorillaz and – to Clash’s chagrin – Four Tet. Somewhere in London Plan B will be writing a rap called ‘Who the fuck are Wild Beasts?’
11.35am – Feelgood comeback queen Corrine Bailey-Rae displays her previously unacknowledged skills on some sort of horizontal harp, then surprise nominee Conor J O’Brien, aka Villagers, does a solo acoustic number. O’Brien wins musically but Rae has by far the better hairdo.
11.37am – Between the two performances a chap from William Hill gives the odds. The jazzy Kit Downes Trio are joint outsiders (with Biffy Clyro, oddly) while Dizzee and the xx are favourites. But Dizzee’s won before, and rank outsider Speech Debelle won last year, so a few quid on Biffy might not be a bad bet.
11.40am – Show over, we’re ushered upstairs to what suddenly seems like the brightest room in the world, where a phalanx of photographers await the arrival of numerous celebs. And several people they’ve never heard of. Laverne is first in front of the scrum and looks deeply uncomfortable about the whole business, while a small child cries loudly from a pram. Clearly a disgusted Plan B fan.
12.00pm – Much hubbub as Paul Weller turns up, in a fairly sedate suit offset by silly sunglasses. He and Bailey-Rae do a photocall together, during which Paul leans over and whispers in Corinne’s ear – possibly “Who are you? I can’t see a thing in these shades.”
12.10pm – 14.00 – It’s a bit different when Villager O’Brien emerges for his photocall. Where the snappers were all “Lauren, over here please!” and “Paul, lift it up a bit,” now it’s “This way mate.” Still, he looks happy enough. Bang on about tokenism all you like but the Mercury is arguably all about artists like O’Brien, getting to mix it with the big boys. Most of the other nominees arrive over the next few hours, which is pretty impressive given how busy the likes of Dizzee and the xx are these days. This contest still has a lot of clout.
14.10pm – We’re over on the non-broadcasting side of the room and gazing into the scrum opposite we spot much-loved old indie DJ Janice Long and… that chap she’s talking to… it’s Gary Davies! The much-maligned, perma-tanned former Radio One afternoon jock… what on earth is he doing here? Surely he isn’t on the Mercury panel? “No,” one of the actual panellists confirms, “he definitely isn’t.”
14.20pm – This must be a bit like the ‘mixed zone’ you get after big international football matches. Once their photos are done the artists follow a cordoned-off corridor around the outside of the room, while the assembled media are in the middle, thrusting furry things at them. This event’s only absentees are Biffy, Laura Marling and Mumford and Sons, but the Evening Standard’s story still leads with the face off between first-couple-of-folk Marling and Marcus Mumford. A Mercury first?
15.00pm – Clash sneaks into the ‘broadcast’ area where a few stragglers are still knocking about. One of this year’s other nice stories is the nomination for long-neglected Manchester outfit I Am Kloot, and frontman John Bramwell is clearly having a whale of a time with all this long-awaited attention. So is he too A-list to talk to Clash now? “Ha!” he says, and is all set for a chat when someone drags him off to go live on 6music. Quasi-fame at last, although start typing their name into Google and you still get ‘I Am Bored’ first.
15.05pm – News on that Gorillaz omission. An ‘insider’ – as the tabloids would put it – explains that Damon Albarn was a bit sniffy about the Mercuries during a previous nomination, so they’re off the radar now. Gorillaz in the mist.
15.15pm – Last to leave the media room is Kit Downes, of the Kit Downes trio, who a lot of in-the-know jazz types are very pleased has been recognised. Like many UK jazz types, Downes is in numerous different ensembles, and his other band The Golden Age of Steam were also a hot tip this year. So is this album more Mercury-friendly? “It’s not something I gave a lot of thought to,” he admits, “mainly because I wasn’t really aware that I was being entered for it.”
15.20pm – Clash attempts to extricate from Downes when exactly the artists find out about their nominations, as clearly it’s some time in advance, given that so many show up on the day. He’s sworn to secrecy though and settles for the more entertaining notion that there were another 100 artists waiting upstairs, who then had to skulk home empty-handed.
15.30pm – Event over, Clash follows Downes and his entourage to the pub for a post-Mercury strategy meeting. Hey, even improv jazzers need a plan. And the plan is, in essence: don’t do what Speech Debelle did last year.
