How would you spend your last day alive? Adam Ant will only be eating kedgeree.
Where would you like to wake up?
Horizontal and in a very comfy bed.
What’s left to achieve on your last day?
To ask what’s next after my last day, or let’s have a rest maybe. All right, I’d have a rest.
Who would be at your final dinner?
Oh yeah, this one would be a big dinner. Pablo Picasso, Sir Eduardo Paolozzi, Malcolm McLaren, Sophia Loren, Steven Berkoff, Joe Orton and Germaine Greer. Oh, and Dirk Bogarde. He’d be a bit of a man though, but I think Germaine Greer would kick him up the bollocks.
What’s on the menu?
Kedgeree. Maybe we’d have some vanilla ice cream after. And a lager.
What would be the after-dinner entertainment?
I’d have a burlesque show with Dita Von Teese. Or the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band.
What would be your biggest regret?
Signing with Sony or doing Live Aid. Signing with Sony because it was financial sodomy and Live Aid was a waste of fucking time because the kids didn’t get the money. So there you are.
How would you like to die?
Quickly and on the job. And you can interpret that any way you like!
What would your final words be?
What would you have written on your gravestone?
‘A lover and a fighter and scared of no man living.’ Yeah, I’m having it made, love.
Who would you like to meet at the pearly gates of Heaven?
Oh, I’d like to meet my dad, Les, and my grandfather Walter Albany Smith. Oh, and Sir Stanley Spencer.
If you could be resurrected the next day, what would you come back as?
Either a seagull, because they fly really well – they can actually catch food in mid-air – or a snail, because they’re hermaphrodite and they copulate for six months.