Swan Song: Andrew WK

Going out in a blaze of burning party fireball glory…
Andrew WK

Just one day left. What are you doing with it? Andrew WK is, inevitably, partying hard…

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Andrew WK – ‘Party Hard’

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Where would you like to wake up?
Anywhere that isn’t a jail cell or a hospital. Just waking up at all is a miracle and a blessing and another chance to party as hard as possible, all over again. Waking up means I didn’t party too hard and that I’ve been rewarded with another opportunity to party as hard as I can, without dying, all over again.

What would you like to achieve on your last day?
An extremely large amount of partying. Just the hardest partying anyone has ever done, ever. Going out in a blaze of burning party fireball glory. Beaming, streaming, and teaming waves of wonder and pleasure crashing over me in euphoric surges of glorious oblivion.

You host a Last Supper – what’s on the menu?
Obviously, lots and lots of pizza. In fact, I would like a pizza from every single pizza place on the planet. And every combination of toppings prepared in every conceivable way. And I want loads and loads of tacos. Hard shell, soft shell, and combo tacos. And also, a literal mountain of nachos. I want to climb up a nacho mountain and then eat my way down. And I want 10,000 cheeseburgers with extra cheese and a million cans of Pringles, and a billion pounds of Dairy Milk bars, and a stadium filled with Haribo gummies… and two bags of Mini Cheddars.

Who would be invited?
Wait, what? You mean I have to share this?

What’s the last song you’d want to hear?
I’d like to hear a song that is every song ever recorded layered on top of one another and all played at top volume, at the same time, through every speaker and pair of headphones on the face of the Earth.

What would be your biggest regret?
Ever having learned the concept of regret.

What would be your deathbed confession?
That one afternoon, when I told my parents I was “just partying”, I was actually secretly “partying hard”.

What would your final words be?
“Party hard.”

What would you have written on your gravestone?
“This counts as partying.”

Who would you like to meet at the Pearly Gates of Heaven?
Santa Claus.

Describe your vision of Heaven.
Partying with Santa Claus.

If you could be resurrected the next day, what would you come back as?
Santa Claus!

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As told to Joe Zadeh
Photo: Facebook

More Swan Song features. Andrew WK online

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