At about this time, anyone lucky enough to be going to Glastonbury is desperately scouring through sheets of paper containing line-up times like an office worker in Terry Gilliam’s Brazil. Mercilessly, they’re making a completely unrealistic schedule – of which they will transpire to attend around 10% of. Like a drink-abstaining trip to the pub, you can head to Glastonbury with the greatest intentions in the world, but once you get there, it’s just a different gravy. The best thing to do is plan your key beacon points for the week: what you really must see. Between those, just see what happens. If you’re lucky, you’ll end up doing tantric equine yoga with an old guy in a sequined tanga. If you’re unlucky, you’ll end up at Paolo Nutini.
Put down the paper, and reject those battery-sapping apps (mate, you’ll be flat by day two) – here are Clash’s own beacon points for Glastonbury 2014.
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Matthew Bennett says…
The Radiophonic Workshop, 5.30pm, Friday @ The Glade
You’ve not arrived at Glastonbury until you’ve had your mind decimated. So get on the scoreboard early by lying down in the wooded Glade, stare into the mirror-warped sky and permit these pioneers of electronic music to wash across your mind like a medium-scale local flood. Founded in 1958 to create all the sci-fi sounds that had never existed, the BBC Radiophonic Workshop was an overfunded Imaginarium in Maida Vale Studios, where dark electronic dreams mixed with new technologies conjuring to generate sound. More recently, agit-pop provocateur Matthew Herbert has taken over the helm so get your cortex prepped for the delectable inevitable.
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Anna Wilson says…
ESG, 6.30pm, Saturday @ The Park Stage
In a perfectly pitched seamless segue from day to night, the sassy sister queens of the South Bronx bring their straight up post-punk funkadelic fierceness to The Park Stage. Allow the pulsing polyrhythms, feral bass and emotive vocals of the legendary 99 Records coterie to take you on a dynamic, delirious trip into underground 80’s New York via dance classics such as ‘UFO’ and ‘Moody’. A succulent smorgasbord of sweat-inducing seminal sounds.
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Robin Murray says…
Mogwai, 11.00pm, Saturday @ The Park Stage
Sure, you’ve probably seen Mogwai before – but then, that’s precisely why you should go again. The Scottish post-rock band never fails to thrill, with their mastery of the quiet-LOUD template allowing them to both deafen you and send chills down your spine. Equally, their recent creative spell – covering everything from soundtracking cult French TV shows, to re-issues, to full album projects – means that the group has a mountain of material to showcase. Plus, have you had a look at the billing for the Pyramid Stage at the same time? Thrash icons Metallica. And as Mogwai themselves might put it, Metallica: are shite.
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Joe Zadeh says…
Låpsley, 2.15pm, Sunday @ BBC Introducing Stage
Last week, Låpsley was doing her school exams. This week, she’s playing Glastonbury. Aye, you and me, we should be doing better. The 17-year-old Liverpool singer/producer came to our attention at the start of 2014, when Chess Club Records producer Oceaán mentioned her during an interview. Turns out she’s been embroidering nocturnal ballads for about eight months now, and her SoundCloud is surprisingly brimming for a young, unsigned artist. Liverpool’s GIT Awards quickly tagged her as a One To Watch and she’s garnered radio play and features galore since. The opiated R&B of ‘Station’ is where to start your love affair, a wavering synth, a soft beat, and Låpsley quilting harmonies out of pitch-shifted vocals. Even her ‘Blue Monday’ tribute – usually a cover song car crash – is a tidy and smooth patchwork. Catch her live at Glastonbury, and aside from the most musically savvy of Merseysiders, you’ll be the first to say you’ve done so.
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Felicity Martin says…
Despacio, Thursday/Friday/Saturday, 8pm/7pm/7pm @ Silver Hayes
Make your way to the underground dance haven that is Silver Hayes, where you’ll find Despacio belching out some serious grooves. The 50,000-watt mega soundsystem is the project of James Murphy and Soulwax, whose expert hands man this beast. The trio is hosting a tent for the mutant stack of seven, 3.5-metre tall McIntosh speakers, with three marathons of polished disco selections from the Thursday to Saturday. It’s all the power of the Pyramid stage, condensed into a somewhat cosier environment. Learn more about the fastidious project in our catch-up with David Dewaele.
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If you’ve not already left for Pilton, take wellies, yeah? It’s going to chuck it down.