Christmas Remixed

The festive season re-worked...
Nathan Fake

A festive selection featuring the best, worst and weirdest remixes of classic Christmas tracks.

Every year it's the same old songs on the radio, The Pogues, ‘Fairy Tale Of New York’, Live Aid ‘Feed The World’, Wham’s ‘Last Christmas’...

So in an attempt to put a fresh spin on these timeless classics, we've trawled the internet to find the very best, worst and strangest remixes, spanning a wide spectrum of genres. There are three things that became apparent during this process; good Christmas remixes are rarer than gold plated truffles, some people have way too much time on their hands, and why has no one made a bass remix of Jingle Bells called Jungle Bells?

10. Christmas Techno Mix 2011 By Sparkylights
A very loose interpretation of the word ‘Techno’. Sparkylights takes a mash-up of Christmas classics, remixed into excruciatingly camp psy-trance - techno for the soundtrack to an impressively choreographed Christmas light display, which goes someway to redeeming it. Make no mistake, this selection is all about the video.

9. Mariah Carey - All I Want For Christmas Donk Mix by T-G-B
If you’re lucky enough to have made it to this point in time, blissfully unaware of the existence of Donk, then this next track may shock and confuse you. Originating from Scotland, Donk is characterised by a fast, repetitive, mid-range beat, which quickly insights a feeling of wanting to stick a finger in your ear and swish your brains around. Here, T-G-B take Mariah Carey’s ever popular ‘All I Want For Christmas’ and put a Donk on it (that’s the correct terminology) resulting in something that’s sits somewhere between Euro-trash and Frankenstein’s Monster.

8. Justin Bieber - Mistletoe Reggae Remix by Mike Donovan Cover
In this remix of teen heartbreaker Justin Bieber’s Mistletoe, Mike Donovan Cover has successfully managed remove any festive sentiment to make the least Christmassy Christmas track we’ve ever heard, complete with tropical keyboards effects and a good dose of the vocoder. Because nothing says Christmas like reggae.

7. Jingle Bells (Christmas Hip-hop Remix 2012) by Tinox
In this gritty spin on a festive classic Tinox turns the bass up to 11 and combines a surprising selection of samples, including the Mario Brothers, police sirens and hoovers.

6. PSY Gangnam Style Christmas Remix by Dj Jeff Deato
If you’ve left the house in the past month, the chances are you’ve heard PSY’s Gangnam Style, which has been sweeping charts and plaguing clubs. It was only a matter of time before someone gave it a festive face lift and Jeff Deato has done just that, shoe-horning it together with traditional classic ‘Hark The Herald Angel’ and teaming it with a video equally as bizarre and disturbing.

5. Santa Claus is Coming to Town by KRAFTWERK
No, not the real Kraftwerk! Though none-the-less topical, and amusingly close, particularly visually, to the real deal.

4. Barbra Christmas By Duck Sauce vs The Loose Cannons
Duck Sauce’s surprise hit ‘Barbra Streisand’ swept dance-floors across the world in 2010. Okay, so it’s not a Christmas song, but here The Loose Cannons imaginatively overdub the words ‘Barbra Streisand’ with ‘Father Christmas’ which, along with some added slay-bell sound effects, make for a very amusing seasonal dance-floor bomb.

3. Silent Night Remix By Nathan Fake
Border Community stalwart Nathan Fake stamps his distinctive mark on the popular carol, with warm, ambient electronica tones that work well with the stripped back nature of the track.

2. Dubstep Snowman By Linton Brown
YouTube is rife with terrible dubstep remixes of butchered Christmas classics, but here is one that actually works. Dubstep and clear vocals go hand in hand like cheese and pickle. Linton Brown’s tight production and hypnotic bass in this remix of nostalgic favourite ‘Walking In The Air’ has notched up over 1.5 million hits!

1. No Use For A Name - Fairytale of New York
What’s not to like about this track? Everyone’s favourite Christmas song, Fairytale of New York gets a blistering rock makeover in this cover by No Use For A Name. Get your air-guitars at the ready and hit play!

By Freya van Lessen

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