Swan Song - John Grant

Regrets, final wishes and solo dining
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Former front man of The Czars, John Grant wowed with his debut 'Queen Of Denmark' album last year. Recorded with the help of label mates Midlake who he recently performed with at the Royal Festival Hall (read ClashMusic's review of the gig HERE).

Clash caught up with Grant to ask how he'd like to spend his last day on Earth for our Swan Song column.

Where would you like to wake up?

In a log cabin on Lake Superior in Michigan. We grew up in Michigan and that’s where I had a lot of my greatest memories.

What would you like to achieve on your last day?

I would probably talk to each of my close friends and my family members about things I regret and get any miscommunications out of the way.

How would you spend the afternoon?

Maybe go for some walks around the lake and talk. I’d want to watch some good Woody Allen movies, or something like Wings Of Desire. But I think my family would probably all leave if I put that one on.

Who would be at your final dinner?

I wouldn’t want to have any small talk on my last day. So no guests, they can all fuck off.

What are you going to be eating?

My mother’s cooking: her fried chicken, green bean casserole and her fresh strawberry cheesecake. With mashed potatoes and gravy.

What would be your biggest regret?

Never having lived in Russia? No, I guess my biggest regret would be never having really loved or been loved in an intimate relationship. I had something I thought was that, but it only lasted for a couple of months before I realised that it wasn’t real. I think it’s hard for you to let somebody else love you if you have trouble loving yourself. I punish the people that love me
the most, for loving me. I can’t wait to see the kind of creature who is able to make me open up my heart again.

What song would you have to dedicate to your last day?

‘The Departure’ by Our Broken Garden. It’s just one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard, ever. I was hurting because of this relationship and pissed off at myself because I couldn’t let it go. Being a recovering addict I couldn’t go out and do a bunch of cocaine and fuck my way through half the city like I wanted to. Then this song deeply knocked me on my fucking head and really made it possible for me to get through that time. I keep telling the girl that wrote it how I feel about that song…and she probably thinks I’m a wacko at this point.

What would your deathbed confession be?

I don’t feel like there’s anything I haven’t said. Maybe something funny, like: “By the way, that whole low self-esteem thing, that was a joke. I have actually always felt quite superior to most people.”

How would you like to die?

I wouldn’t want to be beat with an inch of my life with a baseball bat and then raped with it and the have my head cut off with a chainsaw, you know? I would like to not wake up from sleep.

What would your final words be?

“See you soon.” what would you have written on your gravestone?‘And that’s the good news.’

Who would you like to meet at the pearly gates of heaven?

Madeleine Kahn, who I consider to be the funniest American comedienne of all time. describe your vision of heaven.It’d look like Devon, except with huge iron and wooden roller coasters rising out of the landscape. I love roller coasters. They’d be giant new mind-boggling steel strato-coasters.

If you could be resurrected the next day then what would you come back as?

I would like to come back as Michael Fassbender’s dog. A) So I can hang out with him and lick his face, and b) So I can lick my own balls.

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