Clash sees your pop hits and raises you a middle finger…
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Single Of The Week
Kap Bambino – ‘Red Sign’ / ‘Acid Eyes’
Torture porn’s had its spell in the media spotlight; now it’s time for torture pop, and it’s just as addictive as feeling your eyes pop out your skull come the climax of The Wolf Creek Hills Have Houses Of Saw VII (or whatever). There’s only a skeleton of a tune here, as the duo of vocalist Caroline Martial and laptop manipulator Orion Bouvier (pictured) grind out an industrial racket that’s several parts the sound of every electrical good in your dad’s garage going off at once, and just a smattering of Devo-y pop incessancy; oh, and it exudes the kind of cool that (insert Cool List chump here) can only have wet dreams about. Listen through the chaos and a crystal clear voice screams: Srsly, guys, we’re pretty shit hot, yeah? I mean, we’re making pop that doesn’t so much tickle the fancy as fuck you a new earhole. True that. It’s enough to make a man wish that all pop music was made by T-X-style hot-bots from an apocalyptic future; stretch me out and play Chopsticks on my ribs.
Also out today…
Oasis – ‘Falling Down’
Still they soldier on, the Brothers Gallagher and whoever they’ve found to back ‘em up on the battlefield of the shit-slinging indie wars. Once upon a time they remembered what they were fighting for, who they were against; now, songs like ‘Falling Down’ smack of a band with nothing relevant left to rally against. And with contentment comes mediocrity. Those drums might appear playful, but the whole thing’s as necessary as a verruca – you tolerate it because it doesn’t bother you so much, knowing one day it’ll fade away.
Peter Doherty – ‘Last Of The English Roses’
If Peter D could sound any more disinterested on this, his debut solo single proper, he’d be asleep. At times, it’s as if he’s drifted off, away from the song entirely, thoughts turning to what to pick up from Somerfield on the way back from whatever the man does to occupy his days. A slurred, staggering indie strum-along, ‘Last Of The English Roses’ argues the case that it was Barât, C who supplied The Libertines’ iconic, lasting cool.
The Hot Melts – ‘Edith’
More-than-passable indie rock that sits somewhere between the artsy swagger of Franz et al and some pig-shit-thick US rock act – each time it seems like it’s bordering on brilliance, they put a step wrong and straight into the brown. Still, it looks like the boys had a lot of fun making the video.
Katy Perry – ‘Thinking Of You’
We’ve had titillation, pop triumph and, now, the ballad – for single three, Perry cracks out the melancholy and whimpers on about how much he was looking into some fella’s eyes rather than watching the noughts add up on her bank account. It’s uncomfortably Alanis Morissette in design, although we’re confident Perry’s grasp of irony sets her in good stead to understand what we mean by: This is a really great track.
Lady Gaga – ‘Poker Face’
The success of ‘Just Dance’ was based on a couple of factors: (a) it was, despite the hysterical overselling of its merits, actually A Good Pop Song, and (b) it was released at a time when no other suckers were releasing A Good Pop Song. Which meant it went to number one. Job, done. Only, OH WAIT, NO, IT ISN’T. Those capital letters indicate us SHOUTING because LADY GAGA is BACK. You see, she’s the sort of artist for whom everything is LOUD: her outfits, her drinking, her hangers-on. Now she’s a LOUD video with LOUD outfits and LOUD dancing and a stupid “po-po-po-poker face” bit in it that makes sane people everywhere want to smash their faces through glass doors/garden sheds/next door’s cat. And LOUDLY, too, if only to drown out the drone of this inexorable crap. Don’t call it a comeback: call it a fuck off, cheers.
Filthy Dukes – ‘This Rhythm’
Dance music goes back in time for a thumper short on subtlety and resolutely basic of beat, albeit with a directness that’s faintly admirable. But deconstruct what’s on offer here and it’s almost like Big Beat never died (it did, right? Phew). Next up: Filthy Dukes rope in Tim Burgess for a guest vocal and we all party like it’s 1994.
Dan Black – ‘Alone’
A track so lyrically banal and dull of arrangement it’s a veritable ballache to even write this much about it. So, yeah, that’ll do.
The Xcerts – ‘Crisis In The Slow Lane’
A fairly sombre offering from the recently-toured Scottish outfit, whose typical fare sets pulse rates somewhat higher than this Frightened Rabbit-meets-My Chemical Romance number – some’ll say it soars, others that it never truly gets off the ground despite firing its jets quite furiously every other minute.
Brakes – ‘Hey Hey’
Honestly, who cares what a song’s about when its video features an ever-growing donut rampaging through a town? Fans of Brakes, we guess, who’ll be pleased to hear the Brighton rockers are on fine form here, with the lead single from their third album ‘Touchdown’ – an enjoyably rambunctious affair that’s clap-along friendly from the very second its switches are flicked to power-up. To those previously indifferent to ‘em: IT’S GOT A MASSIVE DONUT IN THE VIDEO.