The Scissor Sisters' frontman on final wishes
How would you spend your last day alive? Scissor Sisters’ Jake Shears will be having crazy declarative sex.
Where would you like to wake up?
With my husband and my dog in our bed. Why would you wanna wake up in a hotel? I would definitely want to be with my family.
What would you like to achieve on your last day?
Smoke crack? Try heroin? I mean, you may as well! If it was my last day on Earth I would just go get some horse and shoot up somewhere!
How would you spend the afternoon?
It would definitely involve lots of sex. I would spend the afternoon having some crazy passionate declarative sex with my husband.
You host a last supper. Who’s coming?
It would have to be all of my friends. I would have a really big party. I throw really big parties at my house sometimes and the last one had three hundred people, so I would probably just set up a soundsystem, line up the DJs, fire up the smoke machine, pull out the lasers I bought on Canal Street and just go for it. We would trash the place. There’d be no food. My mom always get very upset, she’s like, ‘Now, what did you serve to eat?’ And I’m like, ‘No-one wants to eat anything… at least if it’s a good party.’
What would be your biggest regret?
Not spending more time with my husband. If I had to change anything about life it would be getting to be with my family more - and by family I mean my husband and my dog.
What is the last song you want to hear?
Probably the Liza Minnelli film version of ‘Cabaret’. It’s just a good ender. It’s a pretty depressing song when you listen to the lyrics. It’s pretty final. It’s not a happy number. It’d either be that or ‘All That Jazz’, or maybe ‘One Singular Sensation’ from A Chorus Line. It definitely wouldn’t be something like uhh… I was going to say a current pop song but fuck if I know any of ’em.
What would your deathbed confession be?
I never got Harry Potter. I really didn’t. I tried.
What would your final words be?
Those would be my final words.How would you like to die?Maybe a heroin overdose. At least you’d be fucked up. I wouldn’t want to die in an explosion. I can’t imagine what would be the worst way to go. I guess I’d like to be asleep but with it being my last day on Earth I can’t imagine I’d be getting much sleep. I’d just pass out from heroin and then there’d be big explosions, fireworks.
Who would you like to meet you at the pearly gates of Heaven?
Zsa Zsa Gabor. She’ll say, ‘Velcome, ve are so happy you’re here!’
What’s your vision of Heaven?
One big UFC fighting championship where all the guys are homos. Do I think it’s going to be more than fluffy clouds and whiteness? I don’t know. I’m hoping there’s some sort of reincarnation but I keep feeling that we’re just living in a puddle somewhere. Sometimes I look at ants and they have no idea they’re crawling on this massive rock. They’ve got no clue, and I think we’re kind of doing the same thing looking out in space going ‘what the fuck is this?’ and we’re like under someone’s finger nails. I’m sure we’re all going to be downloading our brains and stuff in a hundred years’ time. I’m sure there will be some version of immortality, like a cyborg thing. I think humans and the natural world will die out and we’ll be living inside some sort of motherboard.
If you could be resurrected the next day what would you come back as?
A UFC fighter who’s a homo.
Scissor Sisters’ new album ‘Magic Hour’ is out now on Polydor.
Where would you like to wake up?
With my husband and my dog in our bed. Why would you wanna wake up in a hotel? I would definitely want to be with my family.
What would you like to achieve on your last day?
Smoke crack? Try heroin? I mean, you may as well! If it was my last day on Earth I would just go get some horse and shoot up somewhere!
How would you spend the afternoon?
It would definitely involve lots of sex. I would spend the afternoon having some crazy passionate declarative sex with my husband.
You host a last supper. Who’s coming?
It would have to be all of my friends. I would have a really big party. I throw really big parties at my house sometimes and the last one had three hundred people, so I would probably just set up a soundsystem, line up the DJs, fire up the smoke machine, pull out the lasers I bought on Canal Street and just go for it. We would trash the place. There’d be no food. My mom always get very upset, she’s like, ‘Now, what did you serve to eat?’ And I’m like, ‘No-one wants to eat anything… at least if it’s a good party.’
What would be your biggest regret?
Not spending more time with my husband. If I had to change anything about life it would be getting to be with my family more - and by family I mean my husband and my dog.
What is the last song you want to hear?
Probably the Liza Minnelli film version of ‘Cabaret’. It’s just a good ender. It’s a pretty depressing song when you listen to the lyrics. It’s pretty final. It’s not a happy number. It’d either be that or ‘All That Jazz’, or maybe ‘One Singular Sensation’ from A Chorus Line. It definitely wouldn’t be something like uhh… I was going to say a current pop song but fuck if I know any of ’em.
What would your deathbed confession be?
I never got Harry Potter. I really didn’t. I tried.
What would your final words be?
Those would be my final words.How would you like to die?Maybe a heroin overdose. At least you’d be fucked up. I wouldn’t want to die in an explosion. I can’t imagine what would be the worst way to go. I guess I’d like to be asleep but with it being my last day on Earth I can’t imagine I’d be getting much sleep. I’d just pass out from heroin and then there’d be big explosions, fireworks.
Who would you like to meet you at the pearly gates of Heaven?
Zsa Zsa Gabor. She’ll say, ‘Velcome, ve are so happy you’re here!’
What’s your vision of Heaven?
One big UFC fighting championship where all the guys are homos. Do I think it’s going to be more than fluffy clouds and whiteness? I don’t know. I’m hoping there’s some sort of reincarnation but I keep feeling that we’re just living in a puddle somewhere. Sometimes I look at ants and they have no idea they’re crawling on this massive rock. They’ve got no clue, and I think we’re kind of doing the same thing looking out in space going ‘what the fuck is this?’ and we’re like under someone’s finger nails. I’m sure we’re all going to be downloading our brains and stuff in a hundred years’ time. I’m sure there will be some version of immortality, like a cyborg thing. I think humans and the natural world will die out and we’ll be living inside some sort of motherboard.
If you could be resurrected the next day what would you come back as?
A UFC fighter who’s a homo.
Scissor Sisters’ new album ‘Magic Hour’ is out now on Polydor.
Scissor Sisters
