Movember Rain

For those interested in charity, and for those who stop because the girl holding the clipboard flirts to coerce you into signing up for Save The Children, and you can't help but think one time, she might be genuine- It is Movember. This involves the global growth of moustaches to promote male health issues awareness. The moustache is a tough one. Some can grow rapidly until a certain cut off point, at which point the hair refuses to grow any longer and you are left with a mocha stain. Think Howard Moon. Others develop upper-lip bum fluff which is best kept to a minimum.



Is the moustache cool? And if it is, why did Brandon Flowers ditch his? Perhaps it was a malicious act, driven by bitter contempt after his moustache overtook him in 2007 'Cool Lists'. Flowers did actually receive a showering of criticism for his every-man mowzer, with cynics suggesting it was a ploy to add traditional Americanism to their image. Since when was the moustache solely American? Perhaps this was actually a double bluff on behalf of the cynics to brand the moustache American. The moustache has no nationality, leave it be.

The moustache, when grown correctly, often denotes power. Genghis Khan had one of those fancy little mowzers, that you would stroke whilst pondering. Stalin went more for the boisterous, bushy look. And although Charlie Chaplin turned the toothbrush tash into a running joke, Hitler somehow managed to re-associate it with power and hundreds of crazy leaders followed his hairy tracks (Mugabe, Bucaram, Himmler). In telly, the tash is used when you need some smoldering machismo. In recent TV show Dead Set, the boss dons a nice big tash, making him instantly recognisable as the 'big man' in the office. Earl Hickey (My Name Is Earl) instantly becomes the ex-ruffian/jailbird. And Magnum P.I.? Tom Selleck has never looked so bloody dangerous.



In music, the moustache has developed a lovely habit of denoting genius. Although, some lacked the hair-flair that others sported to fashionable acclaim. Hendrix made his tash look like a trend setting afterthought. On the contrary, David Crosby (Byrds, Stills & Nash) looks like an actual walrus. Motorhead's Lemmy is a handlebar hero, but his tash just smelt too 'Hells Angel' for myself. Frank Zappa made a similar style look passively hip.



If you do decide to grow a moustache for this Movember, I personally recommend the Dali (named after surrealist Salvador Dali). Although Salvador was quite the attention seeking extrovert, his tash is a quick one to grow and a subtle little number. It reinstates the tash as cool, whether Brandon abandoned the moustachio missionaries or not. In the charity sense of things, the Dali would probably be regarded as minimum donation. Enough to get a little badge and feel good for a day. For those people who buy the plastic crosses instead of an artificial poppy (£3 more, but good on you) and generally donate in the excess, I recommend the Robert Wyatt.

Feel free to suggest your favorite or least favorite moustaches...